I had always been weary of New Years Resolutions. They have a great purpose and thought behind them, but they often fall apart in application. I try to keep intention in my traditions, because without meaning why do we do anything?
But for New Years Resolutions, especially after marriage, I felt the pressure and the failure was incredibly heavy. New Years is supposed to be filled with hope, new beginnings and a rebirth of things to come, but I found my resolutions repeatedly unattainable. I quickly realized the contradiction of hope and impending failure was incredibly unfair... To myself... And my family.
Four years ago the hubbs and I were just starting out; we were dating and we had a lot to look forward to. There were so many dreams and goals that had been waiting on the shelf because we were waiting for each other. It was an imaginary line in the sand, but once we hit that mark it felt like we were off to the races! Career, family, graduation, weddings, and other milestones... They all came so quickly - and soon I found jumping from milestone to milestone caused us to lose something.
Just for a moment, I caught myself missing the beautiful moments in between.
You see, I was in such a hurry to better my life, to be a "perfect wife" and reach goals I convinced myself I needed, I began grasping at dreams that were far outside my reach. Some, I didn't fully embrace either. You know, "keeping up with the Jones." I became a quitter and as a result, I started to hear the voice of self-doubt. I set myself up to fail.
It wasn't until the hubbster pointed out a change in my behavior that I realized the problem. New Years Resolutions are goals we should set for ourselves. But all too often, especially as a woman, I try to reach for more and get hurt in the process.
Goals and aspirations are admirable pursuits. They have their place in life and while they give me something tangible and make me feel excitement in success; true joy, happiness, love, faith and hope - the things that hold us together - come from somewhere much deeper.
Hubby and I made a new tradition that year. Instead of dwelling on the negative to drive us to a goal, we started looking to the positive... and released them. Scribbled on a balloon, at the stroke of midnight we watch our dreams float up into the night's sky. I treat it like a physical prayer and the symbolism is powerful. A resolution can be interrupted, forgotten or abandoned. A prayer, once given can never be taken away.
Just for a moment, I caught myself missing the beautiful moments in between.
You see, I was in such a hurry to better my life, to be a "perfect wife" and reach goals I convinced myself I needed, I began grasping at dreams that were far outside my reach. Some, I didn't fully embrace either. You know, "keeping up with the Jones." I became a quitter and as a result, I started to hear the voice of self-doubt. I set myself up to fail.
It wasn't until the hubbster pointed out a change in my behavior that I realized the problem. New Years Resolutions are goals we should set for ourselves. But all too often, especially as a woman, I try to reach for more and get hurt in the process.
Goals and aspirations are admirable pursuits. They have their place in life and while they give me something tangible and make me feel excitement in success; true joy, happiness, love, faith and hope - the things that hold us together - come from somewhere much deeper.
Hubby and I made a new tradition that year. Instead of dwelling on the negative to drive us to a goal, we started looking to the positive... and released them. Scribbled on a balloon, at the stroke of midnight we watch our dreams float up into the night's sky. I treat it like a physical prayer and the symbolism is powerful. A resolution can be interrupted, forgotten or abandoned. A prayer, once given can never be taken away.
No comments:
Post a Comment